the year of twenty things...

This is not your routine resolutions list, nor is it remotely close to year's end.

This is, however, a set of goals that I'm going to set out to make - reasonable goals, within a reasonable amount of time. Some might be seemingly insignificant to someone other than myself, while others might be of the "dream the dream" variety... but each item on this list made its place there because it's something I wish to accomplish, for whatever reason, and think that a year's time would make it entirely possible to accomplish.

I got the idea from The Simple Dollar's "101 Goals in 1001 Days", but found that I couldn't think that far ahead just yet to set aside goals to span over two years. Instead, I figure I'll start tackling this list, and perhaps my next list can be the big kahuna.

So, without further comment, the list is as follows (in no particular priority):

1. Attend a Blue October concert
2. Attend a Cirque du Soleil show
3. Blog at least once a week for three consecutive months
4. Completely plan and build a desktop computer
5. Eliminate carbonated drinks for at least six months
6. Join a book club
7. Learn to perform basic hair cuts
8. Learn to sew
9. Maintain a daily exercise routine for at least one month
10. Make a cherry cheesecake entirely from scratch
11. Paint a picture worth framing and hanging on our walls
12. Purchase a home
13. Read every book that I currently own
14. Re-read the Bible cover to cover
15. Take a class purely for enjoyment
16. Try Absinthe
17. Volunteer time to a youth organization
18. Watch a meteor shower
19. Watch the sun set and then stay awake to watch it rise
20. Write a collection of short prose

I will update my progress as I go along, and perhaps in a year's time, most of these items will be crossed off, leaving me all the better for it.

"even though I know my way around, possibly there's something new I've found..."

There was once a time when I'd venture home from a long day at work, bunker down in front of the glare of my computer screen and unravel my thoughts by putting pen to paper (or finger to key, so it happens). I could filter through the babble of daily life and render that one feeling, that decision, that knocking revelation suddenly useful, simply through exposure.

I craved it. I had to have my moment - my silence, as it were - and it was the only way to find the peace in my mind to sleep at night. Quite literally. I needed to organize the nonsense to calm my thoughts enough to rest.

And now, there's nothing. We've been kicking around with the person inside us for decades and yet feel no more sure of ourselves than we are of a stranger on the street. We question our motives more than we do the shadows in the eyes of others. We doubt instinct. We ignore the intuition we were told to follow in the dark.

Instead of filtering through our own thoughts, we venture into the worlds of others so we can latch onto theirs. We delve into books, into movies, into shows with characters too shallow to get to a read on.

We prefer to laugh than to consider. And to sink into our guilty pleasures instead of developing our own sense of self.

And no one ever taught us how to swim.